RELEASE THE OFFENDER

Written July 12, 2007

Only God knows both sides of the story. The fears, the past wounds, the generational conditioning, the weaknesses, the insufficiencies of character and integrity. He knows the things that we failed to notice—the things that should have warned us to guard our hearts. Only God knows the hidden motives and unspoken regrets of the one who hurt you—their sickness, their brokenness.

The assumptions we make usually do more damage than the truth: "He doesn't even notice how much he hurt me!" "How could he be so cold?" "How could they just ignore my cries for help and walk away?" "Doesn't anyone see my pain?" Our imaginations can be unmerciful. Trust me, it's never what you think. Your guesses will always be more cruel than the reality of what really transpired, adding unnecessary injury to insult.

You must let it go. You need to forgive, not for the sake of the one who hurt or violated you—for your own. It's time to redirect your focus and move on. And you won't be able to do that if you continue to nurse and rehearse your anger, the many wrongs done against you, all the reasons why. If you can't forgive for your own sake, forgive for God's sake. He needs your hands open in order to bless you. Cooperate.

The one who wronged you does not deserve so much of your time, energy or attention. Your fixation is standing in the gap between that person and God, shielding him from conviction. Move out of the way. Free him to receive the proper correction from God. Free yourself to receive your healing. Forgive because you need to be forgiven. How can you expect what you are unable to give yourself! Forgive my dear sister, because you are not alone. We have all been prisoners of our unspoken pain and suffering.

So come and join us on the other side. Choose to forgive because it is what God requires of you, and it is what is best. He will help you to forgive from your heart and not just from your head. Ask Him for strength to release your offender, for to release him (or her) is to release yourself. Trust God to free you from your anger and your pain and from all the questions that continually assault your mind. Let Him speak words of comfort to you and assure you that He has taken heed to the things that have transpired. Although you may never forget what has happened, He will enable you to forgive even as He has forgiven you.